Regan White's Ranting and Raving

Color me...

loving that phrase. I watched "Eli Stone" last night. It's a show that has slowly grown on me a lot more than I thought it would. And I really don't ever watch television, so for me to hunker down and really commit to watching something is really - well - something.

On the show, a judge said, "Well, color me intrigued, Stone." I haven't heard a "color me - anything" phrase in FOREVER. I need to start incorporating it into the old Regan lingo.

"Color me jealous." "Color me hungry." "Color me happy!" "Color me ticked."

I like it already.

If you're reading this...

then thank you - for still checking back here after I so abandoned you, fair blog readers, in such cold fashion. If you are here right now then truly you are the most dedicated of fans. 

Either that or you're bored out of your mind. 

I'm not picky.

I just received some hate mail about a column. Awesome.

Never mind that it's generally the crazy people who use 65 commas after my name when they write in. It still gets to me. I'll replay bits and pieces of the e-mail in my mind all week - which is difficult since e-mails don't "play" themselves, really. It takes some work you know - seeing the words, reading them aloud to yourself in your own head - all that. 

I'm rambling.

I've come to learn that I don't like confrontation. Weird, huh? It's probably why I don't write some opinion-steeped column full of crap people can argue with me about all day long. I'm not an arguer at heart. I have an opinion. I feel everyone else has the right to theirs. If they don't like my opinion, my feelings aren't hurt if they never read my column again. I never really understand the people who are so frickin' piped up that they shoot off e-mails. Then again, that's just not who I am. Even if I disagreed with everything someone wrote, I'd just put the paper down.

So as it stands, I stand as charged - an apparently Southern, Valley girl-tongued racist who is only a registered Independent because she likes the attention. 

Interesting. Very interesting. And here all along I thought I registered Independent so I wouldn't be hounded by the various parties during the primary elections. Man - glad that was revealed to me. Boy - you think you know yourself. whew. 

It's been busy lately. And things don't appear to be slowing. Every time I sit down to blog I realize I only want to rant about people who likely would wind up reading it (no good) or nonsensically swearing my head off (no good either). But hey, that's just the Southern Valley girl that I am. Sue me.

I have no idea where the year went or why it's nearly Halloween. Other years have gone by fast, but this one just seemed ridiculous. I feel like I'm in a constant state of trying to catch up. It's a phenomenon that has me feeling alternately confused that we're nigh into December and angry that the year has seemingly passed me by. 

For that very reason I think I haven't been as into Halloween as I generally am. It was practically painful for me to purchase pumpkins this weekend. It was like pulling teeth. So not me. But what can be expected when every fiber of my being is fighting the fact that it's October to begin with?

Last week I figured I wouldn't dress up for Halloween. The first Halloween I wouldn't don a costume. The prospect seemed too bleak to entertain. So I toyed with being Wonder Woman again - a costume I enjoyed so much that I wore the headband around the house for a good month afterward.

But some time this weekend I became gripped with an unquenchable desire to be Snow White - a strange urge since I've always felt she's one of the biggest fairy-tale pushovers - what with taking care of the seven dwarves and the poisonous apple and the talking and singing to animals all the time garbage. It's inexplicable really, this sudden inner fire to assume the role of Snow White this year. 

So I sought out a costume this evening. I had looked over the weekend and was rather appalled to find that the slutty Snow White costume would barely cover my hips. It looked like a Snow White shirt. If I wore it out people might wonder where my Snow White pants were. 

The more traditional option didn't look that appealing so I skipped it. But by today the Snow White yearning was so keen I buckled. I figured I should try the thing on before committing, so I crammed myself into the back room of a Party City only to find the mirror had been ripped off the wall so I had to come out and round the corner as a disheveled Snow White in front of strangers to see if I even wanted to assume the role. It's a little weird to emerge from a dressing room with no idea if you look like garbage or not. Luckily, I didn't look so dumpster-worthy and here I sit, already clad as Snow White just waiting for the big day. And even MORE lucky, this costume also comes with a headband just like last year. Only this one has a giant, red, floppy bow on it of course. So once again I can extend the holiday season well into November by just showing up places - staff meetings, interviews, etc. - wearing the headband. And maybe singing to small animals. People love that. 

Wonder Woman will have to wait for next year.

Uh oh.

Full moon full steam ahead.

Find a hat and hold the f' on to it, my friends.

A big thank you to Higgins, Dykema, Tecate and melty cheese dip for curing my raging case of the Mondays. Jury's still out on the migraine.

Enjoy this 80-degree October in Charlotte weather, folks. Hope you don't mind it being in the 40s and 50s at night. Maybe we can freeze ourselves until the election comes. Thaw just long enough to cast our ballots and then freeze ourselves again until the new president assumes office because I can't take this garbage anymore. 

Like I said: Find a hat. Hold on tight.

Write in with any full moon crazy people stories. This is when the crazies really come out. 

I should know. xo

Monday, Monday

 

Ugh. How is it Monday already?

The beach was glorious but brief. I burnt the heck out of a portion of my leg, two weird spots on the tops of my feet, a strip of my arm and chest - weird places that the sunscreen missed. I was glad my sister and I went, though. Seems we might have snagged one of the last Indian Summer weekends. (Although this weekend was pretty beautiful, though.)

For a time, Gma seemed to have a new lease on life with the new pacemaker. Her circulation is like it hasn't been in years. For the first time in a decade her hands and feet have been toasty and for a week or two she was sleeping through the night. All that seems to be over now. I don't know if it's the fluctuating temperatures screwing with her joints or just the general malaise of being 94 but she's been extremely ornery lately. Toward the end of the week she had completely reversed her days and nights - sleeping all day despite my mother's best efforts and up roaming all night - taking clothes off, rearranging her bed, counting the rungs of her bed in OCD fashion, rearranging the crap on her dresser in the pursuit of hard candy - it's maddening.

My parents had a church banquet dinner of sorts on Thursday night and my sister was out at a class so I stayed with my grandmother. I fed her dinner and when I asked if she was full she said, "Give me a cookie." In this real ornery voice. So I gave her a cookie or two and then we sat on the couch together watching TV. I talked to her about things that had happened that day, asked her what she had been up to, talked to her about the show. The entire time she kept her eyes glued to the tube give me gruff, one-word answers. Finally, I said, "Hey, Gram, do you just want me to leave you alone?" She looked at me and said, "Uh, yeah!" all snotty.

I had to run out to the grocery store and asked if she wanted to come. She didn't. I then asked if she wanted me to pick up anything for her. She said, "Yeah, get me more cookies!"

I swear to God, she's like Cookie Monster. All night nothing was right - she was slapping my hand if I gave her too much juice, sighing, rolling her eyes - it's kind of stayed that way in general with all of us. She admitted today she's just not feeling very well. Poor little lady. It was this way before her pneumonia for quite a long time. Then she got sick and just was miserable in general. Then when she was feeling better there were a few shining weeks where she was a joy to be around - she was peppy and smiling and clearly happy to be on the upswing, having cheated death once again. But now, with the changing seasons, we seem to be back where we were. Gruff, zombie Cookie Monster. We all had steamed chicken with vegetables for dinner and you would have thought we were serving her liver. She ate all the chicken and like a 2-year-old pushed her vegetables around the plate disgusted. When asked to eat some - any - veggies she sighs, shakes her head, rolls her eyes and usually throws her fork down. And then takes her teeth out.

Thank you to all of you who offered your support during her recent illness and pacer change out. Her pacer scar is amazingly pristine. The surgeon marveled at how much elasticity her skin has retained and how relatively thick and healthy it still is. With the exception of her hands, which like most old women have paper-thin skin, the rest of her is amazingly hearty and resilient. I'm not surprised - she's that way with everything.

On another note, I went for a really long walk this afternoon. The sky was near-cloudless and Carolina blue. The wind was just right and the temperature mild - a wonderful afternoon. I walked a bit longer than I usually do and passed a house at the front of the neighborhood. The owners stick bunches of fake flowers in the ground. I had always seen it in the front of the house and thought it was weird, but today I noticed they do it in the backyard too. While colorful, how damn depressing. I can't imagine looking out onto a backyard lawn dotted with bunches of - albeit colorful - fake, plastic flowers fading as the leaves fall. How sad.

Must sleep - it's been scarce as of late. I hope you all have wonderful weeks. More soon - rmw

Beach bound

Headed to the beach, babies. Woke up this morning with wild sea oats in my head. 

Have to get out of Dodge.

More when I return - or perhaps blogging from the beach. Enjoy the sunshine. xo rmw

Frididdy, thank you for being a friend

Good evening, fair blog readers!

Thanks God it is Friday. 

1. The moon was BEAUTIFUL tonight. My absolute favorite kind of crescent - and large and harvest looking too at most vantage points. Ah, it's fall.

2. I had to run to Wal-Mart today to grab some more highlighters, manilla folders etc. for work. I was so out of it and -  would later realize - low on blood sugar that I forgot my purse in the cart - the cart that I pushed into the cart corral and left while I went to Jimmy John's. It had to of been a good 10 minutes before I returned. Four or five other carts had been returned after mine - no one touching the things in my OPEN bag - like my iPod, wallet and checkbook. Thank you, baby Jesus! 

I never, ever, ever do things like that. I'm totally losing my mind.

3. I had some autumnal, late-night beers with a friend tonight at Big Ben. A few friends on barstools nearby chain-smoked the entire time. My chest clenched into a knot like I was going to have a heart attack. Lately this has happened during the day and I've chalked it up to sleeping weird at night, pulling my chest muscles out doing things, sitting in a hunched position typing all day. But no, when the death-grip chest tightening happened tonight I realized - I think it's my childhood asthma coming back to bite me in the ass. Seriously, it hasn't been a problem for years and now it's going to make a resurgence in my old age. Oh, yes please!

I must get to bed - my cozy comforter beckons - frosty and cold on top, warm and melty in the middle. The way a bed should be. Sleep tight. xo