A quick update to let all of you know Debbie is not the killer I painted her to be.
Due to her unyielding faith in science (and laziness), she left the barren sea monkey tank as is for a number of days to find this morning that a number of sea monkeys had survived the supposed armageddon and are busily motoring about the tank.
Now I'm almost thankful that all my recent searches for new starter kits (they sell swanky tanks full of weird accessories a sea monkey would never even use) - for Debbie have been fruitless. Those dirty little things are darn popular. Everywhere I've been they're sold out.
But seeing their nasty little bodies swimming around confirmed that once again, they're dirtier than I ever imagined. My mother was right in prohibiting me from raising them. Filthy little things.
That said, I'm glad for her sake that Debbie isn't the killer we all supposed her to be.
Listen here lady, they're babies. Have you seen a new-born baby? They look really, really gross. When they grow, you'll see. Cute sea monkey faces will emerge and see me, their god.
I'll say nice things about you to them even though they heard you call them nasty beasts.
Posted by: Debbie | June 02, 2009 at 05:46 PM
That's very kind and thoughtful of you.
You're right about the newborns. Except me. Because I refused to drop and threatened to kill myself by wrapping the cord a few times (try thrice), doctors had to surgically remove me and save the world. In short, my head came out nice, round and perfect - unlike the squashed heads of most misshapen newborns.
That said, I probably couldn't hold my head up. And that's definitely creepy.
But I don't think anyone mistook me for a parasite.
OK. I could be wrong about that.
Not a protozoa maybe.
You are the god of sea monkeys.
Posted by: Regan White | June 02, 2009 at 06:53 PM