The Recovering Journalist

I wish I was the moon tonight

"How will you know if you've found me at last? 'Cause I'll be the one, be the one, be the one with my heart in my lap." - Neko Case

First, an explanation (maybe two): A friend asked why the hell I posted the melted Hello Kitty. ("How is that pertinent?") It's true, I meant to post it when we still suffered from blistering heat and humidity earlier this summer. But i found the photo on my phone and wanted to post it before deleting. This friend also chided me for the brief photo and comment saying, "This isn't Twitter. It's a damn blog."

Well, then. My apologies!

To Snarky Dan: I've taken your suggestion of renaming the blog Regan in the Raw into consideration. There's still something inherently dirty in it that I'm not entirely comfortable with but i do think it's a rather solid name. A+, buddy. I have no prize. Maybe a coupon for a free medium, one topping pizza from Domino's.

Lately, I've been rather euphoric. As a friend recently told me, "Unemployment seems to suit you." This is probably true for most everyone. I still have an undercurrent of restless angst over my future, but all in all, last week i felt the best I have in decades. I've found myself smiling for no reason. I haven't done that in, maybe ever. Saturday was a rather unexpectedly quasi wild evening. It was lovely. Sunday was decidedly restful and full of family togetherness.

Today, however, had an entirely different flavor. It began with harried errands. My latte was tasty. I met up with a friend for lunch and a catch-up session. That too was lovely. I met up with another friend later in the day. We talked, our feet splashing in her granddaughter's baby pool. That too was lovely but left me with a sense of sadness later in the day. So many people have so many challenges. Some days life seems so much harder than others. Much like many people in my family, sometimes I'm an emotional sponge around my friends. This sponge can't take on any more water, my friends. ;)

My dogs have been pschotic since Eukanuba recalled all of its food due to some salmonella outbreak (before the egg situation happened). They've only eaten gluten-free fish and potato allergy-free dry food for 10 years. Introducing different gluten-free foods has kicked up some pretty powerful allergies in them. They're restless, hot and itchy, despite medicine and cortisone shots. Poor muffins. I made an emergency run to Petco late the other night just before closing to see if Eukanuba had restocked its supply yet (they hadn't). Returning home, an SUV on Highway 51 swerved around something. I swerved too, only to lookin my rearview mirror to see it was a cat which had been hit by a car right down the middle. It's top and bottom halves twitched and writhed in the lights of the oncoming cars. My windows were down. I heard sounds I never want to hear again. The thought of losing my dogs - who were refusing to eat at the time and fever-hot with allergy - already was heavy on my heart. Seeing that I started crying. It's stuck with me since. What a cruel world this is sometimes.

Wow, this post has been really uplifting, no? Packing for two weeks in Beantown. Rather, I should start packing but haven't begun yet. love to all!

Hello overheated

What happens when you leave a marshmallow Hello Kitty in the car. Poor, poor Kitty.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Monday, Monday

Had to post quickly to relate something I saw this morning.

Have begun my half marathon training. We'll see how far it gets me. This week was pretty solid but I'm sore and weird things hurt. I headed out too late in the morning today and it got wickedly humid. Miles two and three felt nice. Mile four was death. We'll see. We'll see.

HOWEVER, on the way home I happened upon a guy who was scouring through the garbage collection someone had placed curbside. The homeowners had just moved out so the past few weeks have provided an interesting assortment of broken furniture and odds and ends at the curb. Today, there were three worn wooden deck chairs. They were kind of a hybrid between a folding chair and a near Adirondack-style chair. One guy had pulled over, unfolded one of the chairs and - that not being sufficient - sat in the chair, one leg cross over the other, and was reading something. Like the newspaper. A musing look on his face as if he were smoking an invisible pipe and trying to ascertain if this was THE chair for him.

I started laughing. Then realized that his wife was in the car waiting. She looked just as amused. He put the chair in the back of his car and drove off. What was even weirder was that he never checked out the other chairs to see if they were usable. I guess he only needed that one. For himself.

SO WEIRD.

And yet, who am I to begrudge a man a free deck chair. Plus, he's being super green about the whole thing. I hope he refurbishes that puppy and enjoys the hell out of it.

Still raw

Wasn't thinking tonight when I downed approximately a liter of Diet Coke with a friend while picking at crepes in NoDa. This won't help my efforts to get my sleep schedule back to normal.

Clearly.

Song I can't get out of my head: "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + The Machine (It's that damn song that keeps playing during "Eat, Pray, Love" trailers on TV.

Happy Saturday, loves.

On a Starbucks patio watching

On a Starbucks patio watching some guy put all his jewelry back on. That's right. "Put all his jewelry back on."
No idea why he took it off in the first place.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Regan in the raw

A brief little note: Was at Starbucks this morning and two of my favorite baristas were discussing a new granola bar-type food that the store will be offering in a few weeks, made by Two Moms in the Raw. They found this name particulary fetching and kept repeating it to one another. It is pretty gross if you think about it.

"Hey! Share some Two Moms in the Raw with your brother. I didn't buy (them) for you to be so selfish."

Speaking of the turn of phrase, welcome to a little slice of "Regan in the raw." Yes, in my brief, temporary retirement I've completely flipped my nights and days, just as Regan au natural prefers it. It's sick. I've been up painting, now catching up on e-mails, and at 4:16 I could keep on going through 10 a.m. or so. Ah, to find a non-seedy underworld of night lovers with which to hang. (I received a text message from a friend just before 4 and it made me smile that he was up, I was up, we both knew we'd be up. Granted, he's up doing work and none too happy about it, but still.)

Green ayggs and ... salmonella

Know what's worse than a shit ton of eggs contaminated with salmonella?

Pronouncing eggs as ayggs - just like every single news reporter out there these days.

It's a hard sound to accomplish. I get it. E's are funny little letters and when paired with a double G, well, I understand the confusion. But seriously. There's no Y in there. At all. It's not a long A in there. Not even close.

I have long suspected that I have a brain tumor that doctors have yet to discover. Where I once used to choose near words, now i find my brain selecting words that have absolutely nothing to do with what i'm writing or thinking. it's dangerous. Also, my shift keys seem to have gotten extra fickle, perhaps they're in retirement as well, so if you notice more and more lowercase everything, it's not because I fancy myself e.e. cummings. Though that would be lovely.

I've signed up for the Dowd YMCA half marathon Nov. 6. We'll see how that goes. I began running regularly in June, but quickly liked it too much and didn't rest enough thus pulling out my calves for a number of weeks. I'm wrapped tightly as it is. i'm following a training schedule this time around. We'll see. I was pretty darn tight today and haven't done all that much. And 12 weeks with a giant uppage in mileage is quite a bit away. But i'm excited just the same! Even if I pick up my packet, don my number, jog a couple miles and then make a beeline for the Gatorade tent.

Is Gatorade even cool anymore? Is it a Red Bull tent? Powerade, since they seem more accessible? Vitamin Water? I'm so out of the loop. I do love me some G2, though.

Plan is to head up to Boston for two weeks or so next week. I was going to fly but now think I might drive to unwind. No takers on the Yellowstone/Tetons trip and while I'd love to be the type of girl to set out on my own with nothing but a sleeping bag in the car, I'm not that kind of girl, sadly, and I'd practically have to hike backward for fear of lurking rapists and murderers. (I do admit, however, that I'm getting to an age where both types would likely ignore me entirely.)

One thing that's been dangerous about the last two weeks is that it's allowed me to fully embrace my vampire nature. My nights and days are nearly completely flipped these days. It's dangerous, dangerous territory. Why are some people built like this? Even when I get to bed early and try to arise early, it never fools my body. Even when I'm tired I come alive at night. Creepy shit. It's so inconvenient. I mean, it's quiet at night. You can get loads done, usually. But it's dark out. Most of the world is asleep. Well, I imagine more than half.

I haven't felt this calm in years. Granted, there's the gnawing angst of what adventure to take on next (adventures probably shouldn't gnaw one with anxiety, but it's just part of the little gift that is me I guess), but all in all I'm the most relaxed I've been in forever. It's really quite nice. I knew i had been super stressed out. I just hadn't fully realized just how much.

I'm thinking of putting the title of this blog back. Recovery over. We'll see. Ranting and raving seems commonplace, trite even. But I got nothing else except random shit that makes it sound like I'm trying to be deep.

I have been painting more and when I return from boston the plan is to set up an online store at etsy.com to sell my handpainted sets of notecards and invitations. I've greatly missed art in my life. I'm currently working on wedding thank you notes for the newly minted Trontis couple. I think they're turning out lovely. I'll post a photo when they're done. In the meantime, below is a photo of a set of hydrangea notecards I made, an invitation for my dad's post-birthday party and a rather shitty self-portrait I completed one night framed in my favorite bedroom mirror. I hope to do more plain pen and ink drawings while in boston. I had done one in a little notebook when i was last up there in April, and it was the first drawing I'd done in years. I loved it. Hopefully this little outlet will continue. I'll let you know how it goes. And if you have a project for me, let me know. I line envelopes, hand paint all the cards. yet another craft of mine that's part of a dying art. That makes it even more special, right? Right.

 

In other news, I was honored to be invited to the 90th birthday luncheon of my great friend Henry Hirschmann. He looks fabulous, still has his wits about him and is a blessed friend. Here's to many more years of happiness and traveling, Henry!

And please keep in your prayers south Charlotte resident Larry Henkel who is battling terminal brain cancer that was discovered very recently. A dinner was held in his honor this past week at the South Charlotte Banquet Center by the St. Matthew Knights of Columbus, of which Henkel is a member.

It's funny, he mentioned to me what a wonderful father i have. I couldn't tell him without crying, but all my dad says about him is the very same thing - what a truly nice, helpful, supportive, caring guy he is. Time and life are precious. I'm grateful for where I am today. I'm blessed.

 
 

What the?

Yes! The blog has a new name, a new look and ... that's about it for now! The www.RegansRants.com address still works and the information in your web browers tab will still read that this still is the Ranting and Raving blog - some things never die, I guess.

Why the change when I'm still so blustery? It just seemed like time. It seemed ridiculous to continue to keep my name in the title of my blog and hopefully this will be the start of something new in an old, familiar venue.

Read a good Irish saying recently: "You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind."

How true! A lesson Regan needs to learn.

Well, week one of "retirement" down. It's boring as hell actually, even with tons to do. It's a bit sad that today was my first day picking up my community pool pass this season. I was rather taken aback to discover that instead of the small, laminated tags I've grown accustomed to in the past (remember the really old ones with the screwy pins on them that always stuck to your suit? What barbaric days those were!) these "passes" are instead red, white and blue rubber wristbands - such has have been popularized since the yellow LIVESTRONG Lance Armstrong Foundation bands. These instead are inscribed with the community and year. How trendy of our pool! I kept expecting for the "adult swim" announcements to be accompanied by public urging to friend the pool on Facebook or Twitter.

Of course, much like the badges, no one actually WEARS the wristbands. What's the point in that? Who would ever look that ridiculous to actually wear a pool pass in any form, right? Ah, I'm such a chronic rule-follower. It really is problematic.

I must run and remove my mascara before I rub it anymore all over my face. The after-dark allergies have set in and my body is revolting. Must run. More soon. rmw